Is your partner an INFJ just like you? Will it be the recipe for disaster or your best love decision? In this post we will see what are the weak and strong points of a relationship between two INFJs.
In general, relationships of the same mbti type increase the possibility of harmony on a day-to-day basis, but there is still the need to appreciate the differences your partner. With their perfectionistic aspirations, INFJs tend to search for the “perfect match.”
Also keep in mind that even if you have the same personality type, there will still be variations in your own personalities. The values, the way you have been raised and your goals will also define the success of your relationship. That is why having the same personality does not guarantee a conflict-free relationship.
Can two INFJs date each other?
It can work. A relationship between two INFJs is not going to be riddled with that much drama. When difficulties arise, you will tend to approach them with understanding and empathy. You can often see another point of view, even if you don’t agree with it, and will tend to try to accept your differences and return to a harmonious balance.
They can also be distinguished by different stages of development or maturity within your MBTI type. As such, INFJ partners can still benefit from and appreciate each other’s differences. It’s not like dating yourself, but as someone who sees the world in the same way and processes information in a similar way.
Related reading: Why you may seem unapproachable as an INFJ
Advantages and disadvantages of INFJ relationship
POSITIVE | NEGATIVE |
They understand and respect others’ need for time alone. | They may lack a support network if you both don’t belong to a community because of your lack of desire to socialize. |
They do not have to pretend to be who they are not | INFJs can end up neglecting the details and practicalities of everyday life |
They will feel understood as if sometimes they can read each others mind. | They can avoid actual necessary conflicts and disagreements. |
They share a love of organization and structure. They often like to plan ahead | Both types of feelings tend to recognize and consider the needs of their partner and try to meet them. As INFJs they can focus too much on the people aspect of a situation instead of looking at it objectively. |
You both tend to enjoy each other’s uniqueness. | They can end up planning everything in advance and forgetting to be spontaneous. |
They are both good listeners; They will enjoy taking turns sharing and asking each other questions. | Without a common interest, you may find it difficult to keep the conversation going. |
As you can see, an INFJ relationship has incredible potential. When couples of this type are in a relationship, they will go to great lengths to fully understand and accept each other. Couples with the same type of MBTI understand where the other person is coming from and where their mind is. Communication flows easily and they feel like they are on the same page. The most valuable aspect of an INFJ relationship is the ability to share and compare their experiences without being judged. It feels relieved to meet someone who naturally understands you and relates to you and the way you see the world.
No relationship is smooth all the time, but if you communicate clearly, trust each other, and show mutual respect, you will have the perfect recipe for building a deep connection.
At the same time, as I pointed out in the chart, INFJs can be too negatively similar by sharing the same weaknesses. As a result, they are likely to reinforce weak points and over-analyze the behaviors of others.
Friendship between two INFJs

Naturally, two INFJs are not going to get close, this is because they both are distant and reserved. It is therefore common to see friendships between introverts and extroverts as they compensate for their social needs.
At the beginning of a friendship between two INFJs there may be some misunderstandings. They are clear and direct, but if they do not say openly that they are introverted, one can interpret the distance of the other as if they do not like them. The truth is that INFJs are used to being the most reserved in the group and canceling plans at the last minute. Paradoxically, when they find someone who does the same thing, they don’t really know how to interpret it.
Once you get to know each other and understand that you have the same type of personality, your friendship will have a special value. In general, there will be no drama, they will feel heard more than with other types of personalities and they will not feel that they have to put on a mask to fit in.
The only weakness is the routine. The introverted side of INFJs will lead them to not wanting to go too far out of their social comfort zone, for which they often rely on extroverts. In a relationship between two INFJs, they can feel that everything is too monotonous.
Related reading: The worst part of being a INFJ
Love relationships between INFJ and INFJ
In this section I would like to explore the comments of some INFJ users on Quora.
The only reason I might see it not working is if you hate yourself and see what you don’t like about yourself reflected in them…but if you like yourself, then no problem.
Quora User
I like this way of looking at it. It’s something I realized in my own relationships. I have always sought to be with extroverted people, who talk nonstop and who have a great social life. I think in my mind I thought it was logical “to make up for my introversion.” I looked for in another person what I lacked. It is not necessarily bad, and that is why it is often said that opposites attract. But do it with caution. If you reject someone simply because they remind you too much of yourself, it may be necessary to further explore what you think of yourself.
A relationship with an INFJ is the most intense thing you will ever experience. This is not a casual fling, this is not a one night stand. If an INFJ decides to enter into a relationship with you, it is for the purpose of spending the rest of their lives together.
Quora User
I do not fully agree with this user but I wanted to include this comment as it is a very common myth regarding the introverted personality in general. Introverts also date casually and don’t want to get married right away. We do like deep connections, but at the same time we are scared by the idea of a stable relationship where we are vulnerable with our feelings.
But even I am generalizing myself. I think that when it comes to casual vs long term relationships, the personality you have is not going to determine your behavior as much. I believe that your personal experience with rejection, your level of confidence and self-esteem, and what you look for in the moment will determine more what you end up doing.
What do you think? I’d like to know your opinion in the comments! ⬇️⬇️
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