Introverts need to be alone, not being lonely.
Loneliness is very beautiful… when you have someone to tell it to.
Gustavo Adolfo Becquer
There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. While the first is a fact and something objective, the second is a state that lasts over time and depends more on each person.
We are all alone at some point in our days, but that does not mean that we feel lonely. Loneliness is subjective. For example, if you are a person who is very dependent on others, it is possible that by spending a weekend alone you begin to feel loneliness.
The relationship between loneliness and being alone.
Although we could say that these two terms are closely linked, at the same time, they are more than independent.
A person who is alone for a long period of time will be more likely to feel lonely and experience loneliness.
Having said that, on many occasions I have been surrounded by people and still, I have felt alone. This happens when you have the feeling that no one cares about you and you do it, or stop doing it, it has no repercussions on other people.
Difference in terms: being alone vs loneliness
As we well know, introverts like to be alone even for short moments during the day. This is how we get our energy back.
But we do not seek loneliness, what is more, it is something that terrifies many of us. The fact that we sometimes avoid social events and gatherings while the rest of our friends love it already makes us feel weird and lonely.
I therefore believe that introverts should be careful with the number of invitations we decline. Although at first we like the idea of spending an afternoon at home with no one to bother us, over time and without even realizing it, we can start to feel lonely.
We must not forget that human beings are social by nature, which is why we group ourselves in a family, in a group of friends. So, no matter how introverted you are, you must not forget that part of your happiness depends on feeling loved and accompanied.
Having said that, being alone has advantages that you should start to be aware of.
Apart from the feeling of freedom of not having to answer to anyone, nor depending on the opinions of others, being alone helps us know ourselves better. And that is one of the keys to success.
Related read: The power of being alone
Tips to stop feeling lonely.
To start experiencing loneliness, the first thing you have to do is reflect and analyze your life. You need to know where the suffering comes from.
Introverted people
If you are an introvert then the task is as simple as starting to accept more social events. Once you start connecting with more people, start carefully categorizing who you spend your time with. Your time is very precious and even more so being an introvert. Keep in mind that by nature you get tired of having too many social interactions. That is why you should spend time with those people who give you the most emotionally and with whom you enjoy.
The key is that you go out more with people who contribute to you, and don’t worry about rejecting invitations from people who mean nothing to you (sometimes we do the other way around).
You can check this post where I give you tips to make friends as an introvert.
Shy people
If you are a shy person, it is time for you to start getting out of your comfort zone. You won’t like it, but it’s necessary.
You need to examine how shy you are. If you become shy when speaking in public, with a group of strangers, or even with friends, depending on your degree of shyness, different actions will be required.
If your shyness is extreme (you get nervous talking to longtime friends or family) you may also have social anxiety. In that case, it is better to put yourself in the hands of an expert. Think of all the things you would do if you didn’t panic every time someone started a conversation with you.
If you are circumstantially shy, that is, when you talk to certain people who impose you or with groups of strangers, then you can put into practice some tricks to speak more fluently.
What has helped me the most is planning my social interactions. I analyzed myself and discovered that I am a person who needs to visualize social events before going to them. So, if my friend invites me to a party, I don’t say yes right away.
First I ask a series of questions to be able to imagine possible social scenarios. The more people I know go, the better the chances of accepting the invitation.
If you identify with the above, then it is recommended that you begin to have already planned phrases in your sleeve. That is, before going to an event, think of a series of phrases that you will say or questions that you can ask to break the ice. Many times that is all we need. Before going to the event, think about them and repeat them as much as you need. But once there, forget about everything. If you can not cause the typical stutter.
Let me know in the comments if you feel lonely due to your introversion or shyness! ⬇️⬇️
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