I have previously talked about all the advantages of being a highly sensitive person, but like everything, we have our weaknesses… a dark side that we do not like people to see.
About HSPs
A highly sensitive person is someone who has an increased sensitivity of the central nervous system to multiple stimuli, be they physical, emotional, environmental, or social.
The term was coined by psychologist Elaine Aron (author of The Highly Sensitive Person) in the mid-1990s, and interest in the concept has grown ever since. According to Aron’s theory, HSPs are a predominant subgroup of the population that shows greater emotional sensitivity and reactivity to external and internal stimuli compared to the rest of the population.
The disadvantages of being a sensitive person
1.- High expectations of others
HSPs sometimes make the mistake of believing that everyone is like them, that people are empathic, that they read body language, and that they generally want the common good. That is why they often prefer to work hard in silence, without throwing roses themselves in public. They trust that with effort and sacrifice, recognition by their peers will come. But sometimes, your social circle will not notice your effort unless you make it seen.
When sensitive people are aware of such an injustice, they can become a very bitter people. They won´t say anything. Rather they will wait for his well-deserved recognition, throwing hints and indirect that other non-sensitive people may not understand. If not aware, the sensitive person can get into a loop of thinking that the world is against him.
2.- They can change their mood in an instant
As we have already seen, one of the most remarkable qualities HSPs have is their ability to feel emotions on a deeper level than most. While a non-HSP may not feel much of a shock when seeing a room, an HSP may be amazed by its architecture, or nostalgic because it reminds them of the ones they used to see in movies during their childhood.
However, on the other hand, just as HSPs can feel positive emotions more easily and deeply, the same applies to negative emotions such as sadness, irritability, guilt, which they can fall victim to in a matter of seconds, to despite how they may have felt in previous moments.
3.- They are too critical
Being so in tune with their thoughts and feelings not only makes HSPs reflective, but also makes them seem critical of others, and even to themselves. In general, being critical is not something HSPs do on purpose; Due to their constant reflection and processing of information, they may always see “the other side of the coin” when someone, for example, tells them a story. This can make them seem less empathetic or understanding (just the opposite of what they are) because they sympathize not only with the sender of the message but also with whom the story is about.
They do this with their own thought processes, which can involve negative self-talk and reprimanding thoughts.
Social comparison
They may not understand why other people don’t react as strongly or deeply as they do, which could result in making comparisons, such as believing that something is wrong with them.
They may believe that they are being ‘too sensitive’ or that other people are being inconsiderate. If a relationship ends, they may feel more upset than the other person. They may reflect on what happened and feel that things could have been resolved, while the other person may believe that nothing else could have been done.
4.- HSPs are emotional sponges
As people who respond emotionally to their environment, this also includes other people’s emotions.
In principle, the reality of being emotional sponges gives them a certain advantage: it makes them very perceptive. However, it is also a factor that can cause them to become emotionally overloaded. Therefore, it is not uncommon for them to end up experiencing extreme tension and constant stress that is difficult to dissipate. Thus, what should be a virtue becomes a burden.
Another weakness HSPs face due to their sensitivity is that they are more likely to feel overwhelmed in situations. These feelings can be caused by common, everyday occurrences like loud noises, receiving a heavy workload, and even being in a messy room; small stimuli that can activate receptors in an HSP’s brain and become triggers for their stress, making them feel mentally, and even physically, drained.
5.- HSPs may have difficulty setting limits
Setting boundaries in any relationship is essential. Whether in our friendships or with a romantic partner, boundaries allow us to draw the line between actions that we feel comfortable with and those that trigger us. This is something that sensitive people have a hard time considering the emotions of others above their own.
They are the type of people who would not want to put others in uncomfortable situations, or hurt them by expressing dislike for certain things they do. As a result, they may choose to sweep it under the rug and avoid confronting other people’s behavior in order to keep the peace. Keeping quiet about these issues can result in tension within the relationship, taking advantage of an HSP.
- Recommended read: Learn how to say no and avoid being taken advantage of
In the field of love, highly sensitive people can be more vulnerable. Because of their difficulty setting limits and the need to want everyone to be comfortable, they can be taken advantage of. In the long run this will make this person feel exhausted from giving and not receiving, resentful and wanting to isolate themselves from the world. This is because you have not learned to say “no” to others and limit how much you are willing to give.
6.- They are a magnet for narcissists
Highly sensitive people can often attract people who are experts at manipulation and mind games. The narcissist knows that you are generous, so he deliberately takes advantage of your good nature. When you constantly focus on making other people happy and making sure they do not feel uncomfortable, you will end up attracting those who will manipulate this part of you.
It’s not about changing either. As a highly sensitive person you have many advantages and qualities that this world needs, so trying to change your personality would be doing the world a disservice. It is better that you learn to identify when someone is trying to take advantage of you, toxic and narcissistic people. Superiority is one of the main indications that you are dealing with a narcissist. Narcissists have to be the best, the most successful and the most competent; do everything your way; own everything; and control everyone. They constantly need attention and validation. They constantly try to gain praise and approval from others to prop up their fragile egos, but no matter how much they are given, they always want more.
Without knowing how to set firm boundaries and connect deeply with who you are and what you want, you’ll end up doing what other people want. This is why so many empaths and sensitives end up in relationships with narcissists, and abusive people.
Let me know in the comments what you have identified with, also have they tried to take advantage of your personality? In my case, I have realized that due to past experiences I automatically believe that everyone who approaches me wants to take advantage of me or has an ulterior motive.
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