Most of the television shows that I watched when I was growing up had as their protagonist a character with charisma, extroverted and with always something to say.
But what about the most reserved people? the quiet ones of the classroom? For this type of personality a very specific role is assigned: the bullied, the nerd, or even… the killer. Outside of the screen, can introverts be attractive?
The answer is yes. We have many qualities that can be attractive to other personalities, to introverts like ourselves or extroverts. In this post we will see 5 factors that make introverts desirable.
Reasons why introverts are attractive
They don’t need nobody
I have never understood the type of person who needs someone to do anything. My experience tells me that the more people the worse. Yeah, maybe it’s my pessimistic mindset coupled with my introverted nature.
The thing is that until a few years ago I thought it was something negative. I felt weird for wanting to do something on my own, without inviting many people. But this trait can make introverts attractive to other people. It shows confidence in oneself to do what one feels like without caring what the rest will think. They are going to do it regardless of who comes.
Being more reserved and, above all, being alone helps them develop the trait of self-sufficiency. It’s appealing how they can handle so much with little to no support.
Sexually selective
I’m not the one claiming this… it would be very difficult for me to know😅, but according to various comparative studies, extroverts have more sex than introverts. The data suggests that extraverted men have sex 5.5 times a month, while introverted men only have sex 3 times a month. Normally introverts are interested in quality hookups, so it’s no surprise that this selectivity extends to the bedroom.
You will always want to know more about them
Dealing with an introvert is sometimes like watching a thriller. They won’t tell you about their personal life from the beginning, what’s more, if they don’t find you trustworthy they may never do it. This creates a natural intrigue for wanting to know more about their lives, and a mystery about what they do in their free time.
From the outside, it is very difficult to guess what an introvert is thinking. People generally want to know more about them, and this creates an attractive aura.
Contrary to popular belief it’s almost impossible to get bored when you’re around them. There is always something new and captivating, which makes people want to understand and explore their personalities. This notion also subtly highlights the advantages of introverted behavior: once you can make them feel comfortable around you, they will show you their other hidden side.
They are not available to everyone
If there is something that characterizes introverted people is that they value their alone time . Once they are aware of this need, they will be more restrictive when it comes to saying yes to any type of plan if they do not have the guarantee that it will be better being alone.
However, gaining the trust of introverts is not an easy task. The former makes having a relationship with an introvert much more valuable. Getting an introvert to feel comfortable with you requires finding similar interests, having something important to talk about, and a willingness to build a meaningful connection.
They understand the value of words
Have you heard that you are more handsome quiet? Well, you will hardly have the opportunity to say this to an introvert.
Introverted people in particular are more aware when it comes to understanding the power of words. A comment that you have said can haunt their heads even weeks later. And that is why they reflect before speaking, and rarely say meaningless things or give arguments about which they feel unsure.
This creates consistency in their personality. It is difficult to know them because as we have seen before they do not give equal access to all the people they meet. Once you enter their innermost circle, you can depend on an introvert and be certain that they will have your back.
Another of their qualities that make them so attractive is that they will not interrupt you until you have finished your argument. They want to truly understand your point of view and add value to the conversation. In fact, they won’t talk at all unless they have something important to say. And when they do speak, they say just enough to pique your interest and leave you wanting more. The more they talk, the more intrigued you become and the more you want to hear them talk.
They are intellectually stimulating.
This point reminds me of when I went on a date with a guy who was physically my type. I only knew him by sight and he asked me out on a date so I couldn’t turn him down. After the date he went from being a 10 in my mind to a 4. This was because of how unstimulating our conversations were.
When I say intellectually stimulating, I don’t mean that you have to have a master’s degree or be an expert in all subjects. I think you can have an intellectual conversation just by asking questions and wanting to understand the other person’s point of view. This is something that introverts know how to do very well. Because introverts prefer deep conversations over shallow ones, and being self-reflective turns conversations into a philosophical debate or at least makes you question your current composure.
The fact that they are good listeners makes the conversations different from what other types of people would have.
They know themselves better than the average person
This goes in line with the point of knowing themselves. In the world we live in, it is very easy to feel lost between what you really need and what society tells you you should want.
By spending so much time with themselves and in their heads, introverts will eventually learn to distinguish between what they need in life to be happy. And that’s often the little things. From a simple morning coffee while listening to the chirping of the birds, to the sound of rain on a winter night or things like watching a movie with the people who really matter to them.
I’m not saying that introverts don’t get carried away with material things and capitalism, we are just as exposed to marketing tactics, but our reflective nature will increase the probabilities of pausing before making a compulsive purchase.
These are just a few of the many reasons why introverts can be attractive to other personalities. What other factors can you think of? Let me know in the comments!! 👀
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