We have all dreamed of being popular at some point in our lives. As humans we want other people to like us, we want to be admired and know that others find us interesting. In today’s post and with the help of some Quora users, I am going to dig a little more about what it really means when we say that we want to be popular, and above all, can we be popular if we are introverts?
Check out the original post here >>https://www.quora.com/How-does-one-become-popular-being-an-introvert
The factors of popularity.
How do you even become popular? there could be many reasons contributing to it, wealth and family name, your skills, personality and more:
- It’s about the money 🤑
A part of the popularity you have, especially in your youth, will depend on the financial status of you, your parents and relatives.
It is not really under your control. If you have money you will probably drive a good car, you will always dress in the latest fashion, and people will already recognize your last names.
- Your skills and intellect 🧠
Now, this might not be the typical popular person that you think about. But it is also a type of popularity to take into account. When you are smart everyone begins to know you by the thing you are good at (if you want to be popular at work you can extrapolate that to the workplace)
- Clubs and sports
How do you spend your free time? socializing at events or at home? This is not only limited to sports but to any activity outside of your work or school hours: chess classes, crafts, cooking or whatever your institution offers.
Another good way to be popular in this area is volunteering. Offer to cook for an event, organize it, or get involved in fundraising for a charity event.
- Your personality
If you are shy you will go unnoticed, while if you are self-confident and seek to be the center of attention by nature, popularity will come to you effortlessly.
If you’re an introvert, I understand that you don’t tend to be a people magnet. It is key is to distinguish if you are shy or if you are an introvert. If you are shy you will be afraid of socializing if you are just an introvert, you simply prefer not to socialize for long periods of time. In the former case, you should ask yourself: why do you even want to be popular? would it benefit you?
- Beauty factor
It is something that everyone knows but we do not want to admit. Being handsome is one of the things that is less under your control but that will have the most impact on your life. It is what people see and what makes you make a good or bad impression from the first moment.
While it is true that dressing well helps to make a good impression, being ugly will always put you at a disadvantage (by the way, I want to mention that nobody is really ugly, being ugly or handsome will be determined by society’s canons of beauty where you live).
According to a study by the University of New Mexico, being considered handsome increases the chances of:
- People thinking you are happier
- Earning more money
- People trusting you
The only consolation for people who don’t consider themselves beautiful is that it’s subjective and they’re just depriving you of a subconsciously positive first impression. You can make up for it with your personality and self-confidence.
So can introverts be popular?
This Quora user argues that being an introvert is totally compatible with being popular, but perhaps we should dig deeper into the reasons why you want to be popular. Oftentimes, introverts will have no problem with being in the background and not being apart of every single event:
I think there are many people who find attraction in smart and talented people but who are very shy or introverted. When I went to school, the extroverts were the protagonists. But still there were some introverts, quiet but popular. They were known for participating in sports, getting good grades, or being part of organizations.
Define what it means to be popular for you
I agree with this Quora reader. As we pointed out in the previous point, being popular can be very subjective. I automatically think of the typical American movie cheerleader or the handsome boy who plays soccer and has money.
But, in itself, the popular word does not imply that but to be known. In this way, anyone can be popular.
Being popular is really very subjective. I might think that having two close friends makes me popular; whereas, you may want to have 5, 10, 15 friends. Also, do you want me to be popular because someone says you SHOULD be more popular? Being popular means building relationships. To do that, you start slowly, get involved in activities with other people so that they get to know you and you get to know them. you listen to them You ask questions, not intrusive questions, about them and their lives and you open up to them.
Do you really want to be popular?
I understand that desire to want to be known by others, that when they say your name they know who you are, that they respect and admire you.
But being popular does not mean that people will admire you or that you are an example to follow. When I went to high school I remember that there were several types of popular: those who were very intelligent and always won some kind of prize, those who played soccer or were very good at sports, those who smoked and went out partying despite not having age to drink. The first group of smart and nerdy people were known more as “geeks”. It’s usually unwanted at the time, but in a way they were popular, everyone knew them and they had a good reputation.
What I mean is that there are many ways to be popular. But it is not necessarily convenient that you look for that exclusively. My recommendation would be that you set yourself a goal, such as being the best musician in the school, or being the best delegate in the class, popularity will come by itself.
Consider everything that goes into being popular: being invited to events, being introduced to new people, everyone knowing where you’re going, and everyone talking about you—for better or worse. I honestly don’t think it’s something that introverts look for but rather it’s a consequence of being good at something.
You shouldn’t want to be popular if by that you mean that people don’t stop following you and wanting to be with you. No introvert wants to constantly be the center of attention. It’s too much. To enjoy that, you have to be an extrovert.
I would emphasize more in the previous paragraph that we can enjoy being popular, but not for long periods of time.
Popularity in an introverted style
Being popular the introvert way…yes, it is a term that I have just made up but I think it fits what we are looking for. We want to use our natural advantages as introverts to become known and respected. But what are our advantages as introverts?
If you are a good listener, people will trust you. Being an introvert, you will be good at analyzing the situation and observing, which gives you an added advantage, it will be easy for you to solve problems or conflicts in the conversation. Your way of seeing reality is going to make people feel attracted to you. Not having friends will make people feel a mystery towards you. You will become popular without even realizing it.
- Good listeners
- We process the information before speaking
- We are very observant
- We prefer friends in quality than in quantity
- We are empathic leaders
- We are very independent.
That’s all advice. If you have any more do not forget to share it in the comments! 😊
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