You probably already know that you are an INFJ, and that you have quite a unique personality. Only 2% of the population is considered INFJ!! But what exactly does this mean? are the weaknesses to being an INFJ?
In this post we will look at the negative aspects of being an INFJ. It should be noted that every type of personality will come with its advantages and disadvantages, knowing what our weak points are can help us identify them and change them if necessary.
INFJs generally get their energy alone (Introversion), focus on ideas and concepts rather than facts and details (Intuition), make decisions based on feelings and values (Feeling), and prefer to be planned and organized rather than spontaneous and flexible (Judgment). The INFJ personality type is also called “Counselor” because of their tendency to be idealistic, compassionate, and sensitive.
Disadvantages of being an INFJ person ❌
1.- Sudden mood swings
It’s not unusual for INFJs to absorb other people’s emotions. They not only feel the emotions of others, but are also able to feel them as their own
Because of this, an INFJ may suddenly feel grumpy, only to look around the room and discover that a pissed-off person has just walked in. The closer the person is emotionally to the INFJ, such as a partner or best friend, the more likely the INFJ is to absorb that person’s state of mind
INFJs can appear calm on the outside, even when inside they are experiencing intense emotions. It’s usually obvious when something is bothering them, but that doesn’t mean they want to talk about it. Paradoxical, right? INFJs can self-sabotage and make the people they care about turn away from them. This is because they assume that they bother others with their problems and believe that most people would not understand them even if they opened up.
2.- Accumulate emotions
Linked to the above, it is possible that INFJs do not go to someone from the beginning of a problem because they do not want to bother them. This can lead them to not vent and accumulate tension in their relationships.
They are able to adapt to the needs of others and do not mind being a source of comfort. However, when it comes to their own internal problems they will rarely tell you about a problem unless you specifically ask them. This can trigger the situation of “exploding” out of the blue for what appears to be a simple comment. The reality is that the INFJ has been repressing their emotions in order to avoid a conflict, unconsciously causing a larger one.
This brings me to the next point…
3.- Please in order to avoid conflicts
INFJs have a strong need for harmony in their relationships. Although on the outside it seems that they are not interested in social relationships, deep down they have a need to fit in and be liked (like every human being). They always strive to establish a good relationship with others, and they value people who do the same in return.
But what’s wrong with wanting to avoid conflict? Well, they end up doing things they don’t feel like to please others. They will end up saying yes to invitations that they don’t really want so as not to hurt the feelings of others. That in the long run can make them feel emotionally tired and they don’t even know why.
Related content: Learn how to say no and and put limits
For as long as I can remember, I have always avoided conflict. When there is a problem in one of my close relationships, it consumes me. I can hardly relax, rest or take care of myself if I feel some kind of negativity in my environment. In fact, there have been many times when the conflict has made me feel physically ill.
INFJ user
That is why when a conflict arises, especially in their close social circle, they can become very distressed. This will manifest in trouble falling asleep or concentrating, perhaps even feeling the stress of the conflict physically in their bodies through headaches, muscle aches, upset stomachs, etc.
4.- They give more than they receive
You’ll know you’re in a one-sided relationship when you do things for others that others wouldn’t do for you. From material things to being the ear of someone you know needs it. INFJs, if they have not learned to identify this type of relationship, may consider it normal and do not want to want to make more friends.
As you will understand, a unilateral friendship, in which you give more than you receive, over time becomes a burden. You don’t realize it, but you end up not wanting to socialize as much as your emotional needs aren’t being met. That is why it is essential that INFJs learn to choose balanced relationships that also make them feel good.
5.- Suddenly cutting the people out of your life.
Have you heard of the INFJ door slam? It’s when an INFJ cuts you out of his life because he is so hurt. They don’t do it because they hate you, but because they have decided that they can no longer deal with the emotional pain it causes them.
If it’s impossible for them to cut off the relationship entirely because of work or school, they may shut down emotionally and refuse to let you in. They may still talk to you when they have to, but they will seem cold and distant.
INFJs do not exclude people without intense contemplation. Being “judges”, they are not exactly impulsive people. Other people may forget how sensitive they are despite their calm “everything is fine” demeanor.
If the door has been closed to you, it is because the INFJ saw no other way to stop the emotional pain you were causing them. You may not have intended to cause the pain, but it is there nonetheless. People with INFJ personality are generally quite sensitive to the words and actions of others. More than other personality types, they need harmony, strong emotional support, and healthy give-and-take in their relationships to thrive.
6.- They expect others to be as intuitive as they are
Most INFJs may also be highly sensitive people, and the downside is that they expect others to be too. Or at least, they forget that others do not have some of their intuitive qualities.
As I said previously, INFJs are good at absorbing the emotions of others (for better and for worse). But when they assume that others are sensitive like them, when someone ignores their emotions, they may conclude that they are doing it on purpose, even if the other person has no idea.
This is a mistake that I make a lot in my day to day (although now at least I realize it). If, for example, someone in the waiting room is watching TikToks out loud while I’m reading a book, I get pissed off inside thinking:
“It’s impossible that they don’t know that they’re bothering me, they’re doing it on purpose, they don’t care that I’m trying to read ». When the other person may not even be aware that they are distracting me.
7.- They over-analyze too much.
If over-analyzing was an Olympic sport, INFJs would take the gold medal.
Although most INFJs pride themselves on their ability to reflect, as well as their almost psychic intuition to pinpoint when something is wrong, overthinking can be detrimental to their mental health. Overthinking is when the little voice in our head gets out of control and we are unable to turn it off. It’s the kind of voice that’s obnoxious and obsessive, and gets us nowhere.
For example, let’s say someone asks me a question and I don’t give a good answer on the spot. For the next few days, I could keep thinking about the question and answering it in my head over and over again as if it could somehow change my answer. I overanalyze and overthink so much that it hurts my brain and leaves me exhausted.
That’s all for today’s post, let me know in the comments if you’ve related with the content!!
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